Quit Sweating the 'What if's'

I find it ironic that this one little section of my life (this blog) often leaves me scratching my head. Here is why I say that; it becomes a double-edged sword, of sorts. If you are reading this, let me first say, "Thank you!" Secondly I would say, "Stop it! Stop reading this!" I know, a double-minded man is, truly unstable in all that he does. I am malcontent. One the one hand, this blog is a release, of sorts; a cathartic purge. I can write away, not caring whom may read this. Click, click, click...the sound of the key strokes is soothing. Whatever malady may come, whether physical or subconscious, I can pluck away on this keyboard and be, even for a moment, at peace. One the other hand, the damned "Publish" button is staring me in the face. By itself, it is completely harmless; just a benign section of some code that is meant to release my inner-most thoughts to the masses. Whoa! Wait a second....

This is where the aforementioned head-scratching comes into play. What started out as something...I don't want to say 'pure' but at the very least it's real, almost instantaneously becomes something superifical! 

"What if _____ doesn't like what I said?" 

"What if what I said is taken out of context by (insert name of that one person whom never seems to 'get it')?"

What if?...What if??...What...if...???

I'm starting to sound like Scot Stapp, circa 1999. Back when Creed was still cool (in my mind anyway). See...there it goes again. I've never shied-away from the fact that I was a Creed fan growing-up. Now some person, maybe you, is gonna discard my musical prowess because you don't like a 30+ million-album-selling, albeit douche-riffic, band. Screw the "what if's" man. Maybe its the 30-year-old coming out in me, but like Sweet Brown said, "Aint NOBODY got time for that!" 

As I approach the close of my 30th year on the earth, there are still things left undone. Planes I have not jumped out of. Places I have not traveled. Things I have not yet, and may never, do or see. Don't get me wrong, this is not some sob story or tirade about my miserable life. It's actually quite the contrary. Presently, I have a beautiful woman lying next to me, sleeping. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps. (***Sorry...no joke...she started snoring as I typed that!) This woman loves me. After almost 10 years of marriage, I still don't how I lucked into snagging her! I also, presently, have another woman in my bed. She's 60 lbs., has four legs, and loves to give sloppy kisses. Just having those 2 women in my life makes me a pretty lucky guy!

I don't have a lot to complain about. I'm here, and by the grace of God alone, I'll here until He says I'm done. As Mr. Tyler Durden said, "Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives." Life is a great depression because we spend it pursuing things that, ultimately, will not matter. How much time will I spend, hoping that you, yes, you who is reading this, will "like" or "share" or comment on this. And while I can think this is some Pulitzer Prize-grade writing, it's not. It is what it is; the groaning of a 30-year-old man whom is trying to be like Jesus, but sometimes (especially this week!) fails. 

So while I appreciate you taking the time to read this, I won't worry about the "What if's". If you would like to leave feedback, I would welcome it and thank you for it. I hope that as I continue to do this, the "Publish" button wont be the bane of my, continued writing. While I do not ever intend to be intentionally controversial, I will push the Publish button with the satisfaction and release I first longed for. It's time to quit worrying about the "What if's"! It's time to Publish.